I´ll never tell
Anya:This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine!
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is
I'll never tell.
Xander:She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace.
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight-
Embrace! Tight embrace!
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no.
I'll never tell.
Spolu: 'Cause there's nothing to tell.
Anya: He snores.
Xander: She wheezes.
Anya: Say 'housework' and he freezes.
Xander: She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.
Anya: I talk, he breezes.
Xander: She doesn't know what pleases.
Anya: His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!
Spolu: The vibe gets kind of scary
Xander: Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Anya: Like it's all just temporary
Xander: Like her toes are kind of hairy
Spolu: But it's all very well
'Cause god knows, I'll never tell!
Anya: When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his Buffy!
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know.
Xander: She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev-
Anya: His eyes are beady!
Xander: This is my verse, hello!
She-
Anya: Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
Spolu: You know...
Xander: You're quite the charmer.
Anya: My knight in armor.
Xander: You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple-
Tight embrace!
Anya: He's swell
Xander: She's sweller
Anya: He'll always be my feller
Xander:: That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified.
Anya: I've read this tale
There's wedding, then betrayal
I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide.
Spolu: I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I've can't quell
Xander: Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Anya: Will I look good when I've gotten old?
Xander: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?
Anya: When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
Xander: Am I crazy?
Anya: Am I dreamin'?
Xander: Am I marrying a demon?
Spolu: We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!
So, thank god, I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell!
Xander: My lips are sealed
Anya: I take the Fifth
Xander: Nothing to see
Move it along
Spolu: I 'll never
Tell!